My own worst enemy

2 FEBRUARY 2017

Since starting the new year, I have not been able to practise yoga as often as I would like each week. Work commitments and new projects are increasingly filling my diary and I’m finding it really difficult to take time out to look after myself.

Our society is so competitive, isn’t it? It seems like success and achieving goals come before any other type of need. The philosophy of yoga could not be more distant from this trend, which has pressurised us for a long time now, and from a very early age. I remember how nervous I used to be about getting a good result in an exam after studying concepts and information that I managed to learn off by heart but not assimilate… That demand and responsibility with which I approached my studies, and which made me experience times of anguish, are still a part of my personality. And once again, it is now that my mat is giving me a wise lesson, because in those time capsules that I devote to the practice of yoga, I come face to face with my audacity, with stress and nerves, and realise how easy it is to allow oneself to get carried away and fall out of tune with what we really need.

It amazes me how quickly we can lose the focus of what really matters and become transcendental when we are immersed in the micro-worlds that we create based on frustration, when things don’t work out. Losing my focus on the mat makes me feel much smaller; it saddens me because I am letting my own body down, because the practice of yoga is what connects me with my truth.

I acknowledge that I am a demanding person, and the worst thing is that that demand begins in me. It is what is often hardest to manage, what turns me into an unkind judge and leads me to feel disappointment. It lashes me and turns me into my own worst enemy. Seeking perfection, demanding that you become what you have to become, and what is expected of you, or trying to meet the expectations that you project in yourself are challenges that can have their pros and cons. Because the ambition that lives in demand can also be healthy: it means getting your act together to improve and evolve, leaving your comfort zone, setting aside your fears, and going for it. But, as I said before, without losing the focus of what most matters and, of course, maintaining balance.

The experience and tools that yoga has afforded me make me realise that excellence or a good result do not mean success. So, what is success then? For me it is knowing that I can, that I involve myself, that I roll up my sleeves… and that when I make a mistake IT DOESN’T MATTER. It is like meditation; you go, but you always come back. Where? To find your body and your essential needs once again, which is what your nature really demands.

V.

 


SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Tajna 8 February, 2017

I have found society is too competitive for me as well, especially in how commercialized yoga has become. I have done yoga since 2002 and my own practice for years. However recently I stopped, I just cannot have anything to do with yoga anymore. I’m not sure if something is wrong with me or it’s just a usual physical reaction or maybe I just need a break. So I have not practiced yoga for three weeks now. Also I recently got sick so I have even less energy. In the past I would always force myself to yoga even when I was sick; I thought that intense sweating would help to sweat the toxins out. I now realize my mistakes and how hard on myself I used to be.

Will you release your book in English someday ? Even if I don’t do the physical asanas of yoga I still want to read about them and look at them, kind of funny. My first yoga book was Christy Turlington’s “Living Yoga : Creating A Life Practice ” and I did think I had a lifelong practice . I will just take a rest from yoga and see. Thank you for letting me write this.

Namaste,

Tajna


Responder
vanesalorenzo 15 February, 2017

Dear Tajna,
I have been practicing yoga for more than 15 years. I face this philosophy on and off the matt being kind to my self and following my instincts and my mind and body needs, so I can only advice you in that way. Your yoga practice should embrace you with kindness. Don’t be hard on your self and flow with your soul, body and mind. There is nothing wrong in stopping, who knows… You might come back to it or you might find another practice that will help you to keep a healthy body and mind.
Unfortunately I can´t offer you my book in English in the near future. Maybe one day. It would be great!
Good luck with everything.
Best,
V


Responder
Tajna 16 February, 2017

Thank you so much Vanesa 🙂
I am going to start finding yoga videos to guide me when I feel ready to go back to practicing yoga. I realize now that my practice was more of an obsession, as I had to do my asanas every day or wouldn’t feel well. Yoga as an addiction, who knew that could exist ?!? I look forward to doing yoga again someday when it is not an obsession for me, but as a balanced extension that adds to my lifestyle, body, mind and spirit.

Have a beautiful day and thank you for responding to me.

Namaste,
Tajna


Responder
bonnie 3 September, 2017

dear vanesa,
i landed here after googling “vanesa lorenzo yoga book in english,” as i, too, had hopes that it was available in that format. perhaps you’ve inspired me not only to begin yoga but to begin learning spanish, as well-!
to discover through your writings that your beauty on the inside is as extraordinary as it is on the outside fills me my heart, and i’m so grateful that you share your thoughts and philosophies and practice.
i wish you and the ones you love peace and all good things every day ~
bonnie


Responder
vanesalorenzo 13 September, 2017

Dear Bonnie,
Thank you for your warm words. You inspire me to keep sharing more and more about life as I understand it.
I’m sorry my book is not available in English, but I hope you can enjoy #YogaUnEstiloDeVida through my blog or, if you feel motivated to, to read it in Spanish.
Best,
V


Responder
My own worst enemy Since starting the new year, I have not been able to practise yoga as often as I would like each week. Work commitments and new projects are increasingly filling my diary and I’m finding it really difficult to take time out to look after myself. Our society is so competitive, isn’t it? It seems like […] http://www.vanesalorenzo.com/en/2017/02/my-own-worst-enemy-yoga/ Since starting the new year, I have not been able to practise yoga as often as I would like each week. Work... http://tinyurl.com/y6hc8nqd http://www.vanesalorenzo.com/en/2017/02/my-own-worst-enemy-yoga/